Shortly after I wrote my story about Tomas Regalado and his wife living rent free in a luxury apartment building owned by the Milton brothers, it was suggested to me that I ought to go looking for the marriage license for Tomas and Ana Christina.

This was not as far fetched a suggestion as you might think because a lot of good rumors and stories that I get are after publishing major stories, and because the allegation about living la vida loca in a rent free apartment is one story that Miami's version of the teflon Don is not going to make disappear just because he's always gotten protection from the Family and Friends Plan in the past.

Acting on the information I received, I started digging.  First I went back to David Smiley's story where he broke the news that Tomas and Ana Christina had allegedly gotten married secretly in a religious compound in Little Havana on the first Monday in June of 2015..

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It's always touching when a love story involving an old man looking for love includes marrying a younger wife to take care of him in old age. Usually though, those stories include millions in a bank somewhere.

Perhaps it was the possible loss of big money behind what took place last week when, after the City Commission stuck a knife in Regalado's efforts to get them to go along with the Rickenbacker Marina deal, he and City Manager Danny Alfonso squealed like stuck pigs deprived of a bucket full of slop and threatened to evict the current lease holder, forgetting that the same rules regarding eviction apply to the Rickenbacker Marina contract like the contract that his pal Mehmet Bayraktar, of the Flagstone group, is now fighting the city in court to keep from getting evicted.

For a guy who once proclaimed that, "In Miami, all deals are bad deals," it's amazing how fast Regalado forgot that no matter how bad the deals are, the contracts are even worse when it comes to trying to evict someone whose got a lease on city property.

In any event I started looking for evidence that would support that a marriage took place, and among my stops was the cloister of the Servants of A Pierced Heart where a nun was not very happy to see me when I rang the door bell to inquire whether the Mayor and Ana Christina had in fact gotten married in their chapel.  

She refused to answer any questions, but did send me off with a blessing and a hope that light would come into my heart. She can be forgiven for not knowing that my heart already overflows with light as a result of my mantra in life becoming a desire to spread happiness and joy ever since I started writing about the antics at Miami City Hall

Somehow the vision of Regalado getting married in a cloistered little chapel did not jibe with previous conversations I'd had with folks very, very close to Regalado who had told me stories about his being a devoted Santeria follower, and of even going with him to Hialeah on Saturdays to buy the various animals that were used in sacrifices.

Even in Miami though, the thought of chaste nuns witnessing the marriage of Miami's Mayor while he perhaps contemplated sacrificing a few chickens as an encore was a dream sequence that even a drug addict slipping off into a coma on one of Miami's streets after a hot shot of heroin and fentanyl might find disturbing.

But, while the nun at the door wouldn't even acknowledge she knew who Regalado was, the public records of various counties in Florida were more forthcoming with information about the possibility that Regalado and Ana Christina had applied for a marriage license anywhere close to Miami.

Alas, all of the enquires came back with the same answer. NO!.

As a last resort, I did what I always do when confronted with a question that can be readily answered by the individual in question, I wrote to Tomas Regalado and asked him to provide me with his marriage license.

AUGUST 17TH

The Mayor did not reply.  So I sent him a second letter.

SEPTEMBER 1ST

So while the nun wasn't forthcoming, and Regalado refused to provide me with the name of the county where he allegedly got his marriage license, and the electronic records of the surrounding counties all stated that Tomas Regalado and Ana Christina Carrodeguas had NEVER applied for a marriage license, that still doesn't mean that perhaps the lovely couple didn't get a license in some county in North Florida, or better yet, got married somewhere else - like maybe Spain, or Argentina, or Mexico, or Panama, or Peru, or perhaps even the Dominican Republic; all countries that they have visited in the last two years as the Mayor has used his office and official title to pimp for his friends and exploit opportunities for life after being Mayor of Miami.

Then again, maybe Tomas and Ana Christina aren't married and are, as old folks once used to say, living in sin.

One thing is for certain, if the lovely couple isn't married, and one day there's a knock on the door followed by the flash of a badge and a request for Ana Christina to tell all she knows about Tomas Regalado and his various activities, she won't be able to claim a wifey immunity.

It's Miami, Bitches!


HERE ARE COPIES OF THE ELECTRONIC REPLIES AS TO WHETHER TOMAS REGALADO AND ANA CHRISTINA APPLIED FOR A MARRIGAE LICENSE IN MIAMI-DADE, BROWARD, MONROE & PALM BEACH COUNTIES.