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NUMBER 43 - JUNE 6, 2018

It was only a couple months ago that City Manager Emilio "Colonel Klink" Gonzalez attempted to dazzle or baffle everyone by appointing James Bernat, then the head of the Police Department's Homelessness Program to be the next Director of Code Enforcement.

That's not as far fetched as it might seem, because in other cities the Director of Code Enforcement is a cop, and Code Enforcement operates within the police department.

But, there's a big difference between a guy who was in charge of getting homeless people off the street, and that same guy showing up one morning to run a department like Code Enforcement.

Well, now after less than 3 months it looks like Colonel Klink is doing what he should have done to begin with, although you have to figure that even though this looks like an effort to bring in someone whose actually qualified, don't get excited yet, because this is Miami and there's always a possibility that there's a "cousin" wandering around somewhere in need of a job.

Steve Miro was considered Joe Carollo's enforcer. Since Carollo has been Commissioner Miro was the guy who it was claimed would show up at your door if you pissed Joe off, like he was alleged to have done a couple months ago when he showed up with cops and tried to get the owners of that illegal sandwich shop on SW 8th Street arrested.

The job expectancy of a political enforcer, especially for a guy like Joe Carollo isn't something that promises job security, and so, whatever happened between Carollo and Miro, or between the other members of Carollo's staff and Miro led to the above letter and an escort out of City Hall.

The part I liked was the, "at 3:00 PM," your services...are no longer required.

In the City of Miami, there's no finesse, like waiting till the end of the day. It's like, piss someone off at 2:00PM, and your ass is out the door at 3:00 PM.

That's the way heads roll in It's Miami, Bitches!



PRR 18-724 Special Events Funds- Commissioners by al_crespo on Scribd


NUMBER 44 - JUNE 7, 2018

You can read her story, which is chock full of interesting information HERE.

In addition, de Valle claimed in her story that one of the accusations that Miro supposedly made to the State Attorney's Office was that Carollo was holding events at assisted living facilities and nursing homes in the Little Havana area to generate votes for Alex de la Portilla, who was running for the District 5 Special Elections.  

Just two days ago I referenced that practice in a little story that I did about Francis Suarez's efforts to get signatures of his referendum petitions to become Strong Mayor.

Going to these assisted living facilities and nursing homes has been a staple of political campaigning forever, and back in October of 2013, I did a video about the terrible conditions at the Haley Sofge Towers on NW 7th Street, where I included photos of the Domino Table that Joe's brother Frank, had donated to the residents during his re-election campaign that year, because even thought the building looked like shit, and the old people were being royally fucked over, all of the candidates running for office that year kept showing up and making promises about how they were going to get things fixed if the old people would vote them back into office.  You can see that video HERE.

Although politicians have been doing this for years, it's always been assumed that the politicians who staged these events did so with campaign money, and while Miro would not confirm to de Valle that Carollo had used city money and his staff as part of this scheme, I came across a public records request made a few weeks ago by someone looking for the Special Event Funding Expenses by the City Commissioners for a very narrow window in May.  

The request and the responsive documents are part of a software program called Next Request, that is operated by the City Attorney's office to monitor and keep track of public records requests.  I happened to be looking for something else, but spotted this request and downloaded the PDF that contained the response to this request.

I set this PDF aside because I was preoccupied with other stories, but this morning after reading de Valle's story, I took a look and the documents in the PDF, and it looks like not only did Commissioner Joe Carollo decide to host and pay for a number of social events at assisted living facilities and nursing homes during this time period with city funds, but so did Commissioner Manolo Reyes, who is on the record for paying for events on April 19th, April 25th, April 26th, May 8th and May 9th.

Part of Manolo Reyes' Commission District is within the boundaries of  District 5, and operating on the premise that there are no coincidences when it comes to politicians looking for ways to screw the taxpayers, then there's probably a very good chance that Manolo Reyes too was hosting events at these facilities for one of the candidates.

In hindsight, whoever made the public records request for these expenses, clearly knew what they were looking for, and given the dates requested, and the information provided by de Valle, it's pretty clear that one can reasonably assume that Commissioners Carollo and Reyes have taken us Back To The Future of how the City of Miami was run when Joe Carollo was Mayor of Miami.

If that's true, then the time to get rid of these guys is NOW!


NUMBER 45 - JUNE 8, 2018

Joe Carollo came into office last November promising  that he was only going to serve one term and that he was going to clean up corruption.

In the six months that he's been in office it appears that contrary to his intentions, Carollo has allegedly attempted to treat his District as his personal fiefdom and engaged in using city employees to get even with people who he believes are his enemies and/or didn't vote for him by using city employees to issue retaliatory code violations.

There have been numerous rumors of Carollo walking the street with code enforcement officers pointing out possible violations, which if true would be clear violations of the City Charter that prohibits City Commissioners from directly involving themselves in the day-to-day operation of city departments and directing city employees as to what to do.

The news that Carollo had spent City Special Event money to finance food and drinks for parties held at a number of assisted living facilities and nursing homes in his District in May, during the height of the Special Election for a new District 5 County Commissioner, where Alex de la Portilla, a Carollo pal who was in the race showed up was obviously a classic political move by Carollo to help round up votes for de la Portilla.

Here's the portion of the Herald story that details that activity.  

          "The three facilities are located in Carollo's city district and also

          in the county district sought unsuccessfully by Diaz de la Portilla.

          They are regular stomping grounds for candidates and elected

          officials — and places where it would be criminal for a Miami

          politician to show up without, at the very least, some pastelitos.

          So on May 16, Carollo's office visited Myers Senior Center with

          enough food to feed 75 people. Diaz de la Portilla was there too

          in slacks and a dress shirt, accompanied by at least one campaign


          The following day, Carollo and his office visited the Little Havana

          Activities Center with 250 servings. This time, when Carollo arrived,

          he says Diaz de la Portilla was already there scooping healthy

          helpings of arroz onto styrofoam plates.


          "I did not ask Alex to come," Carollo said Wednesday."

Of course he didn't.

For those who know Carollo, one can only imagine what he would have said and done if found out that his arch enemy Tomas Regalado had pulled a similar stunt when Regalado's son was running against him last year.

Carollo would have gone batshit ballistic is what he would have done, and somebody would have had to use a tranquiler gun to calm him down.

Like I've said, when it comes to political skullduggery there is no such thing as coincidence, and when it comes to hypocrisy, guys like Joe Carollo couldn't survive without it.

Which is why Carollo can look you in the eye and tell you he's only going to serve one term, and then turn around and take money and support from the likes of Marc Sarnoff.

A guy who really only wanted to serve one term, and who really wanted to do what was right would never allow someone like Marc Sarnoff to get as close to him as he has, especially a guy like Carollo, who brags every hour, on the hour about how he did things back in the day when he was the Mayor.  Why would he need a scorpion like Sarnoff around if he was so politically savvy?  

But Sarnoff is around, and he's the first guy who has his hand - actually he has his hand, his arm, and is probably figuring out a way to stick his head up Carollo's ass, so that every time Carollo opens his mouth, you'll see Sarnoff's evil grin as he pops his head out, like one of those creatures in horror movies that enhabits the body of someone else.

Then of course there's Alex de la Portilla.  

He, like Sarnoff started showing up at 9 AM on the mornings when the Commission was in session, and headed straight into Carollo's office where he, Sarnoff, Carlos Gimenez Jr., and on occasion Carlos's wife would all huddle behind closed doors doing whatever it is that people who all think that they're the one's who have their hand up a politican's ass do during Commission meetings.

The photo above of Alex de la Portilla standing in the doorway of Carollo's office I took on January 11th, when he was returning from a trip to the bathroom.

All of them to one degree or another are vying to see who can stick their hand higher up his ass and make him their personal sock puppet.

So, it's understandable that Carollo would support de la Portilla in his efforts to get elected as the County Commissioner for District 5, and now that he's lost that race, the rumor is that Carollo is planning to appoint de la Portilla as the new Executive Director of the Bayfront Park Management Trust, which will turn that office into a swamp of political intrigue, scheming and skullduggery.

What does Alex de la Portilla know about managing a big city park?  Jack shit!


And now of course, there's round two of the fight between Carollo and his fired aide Steve Miro with the counter charges from Carollo and his staff in this morning Herald about Miro making "sexually inappropriate comments" and trying to give himself a $1500.

Let's for the sake of argument agree that Miro is a creepy guy who made people uncomfortable, said sexually inappropriate things, and tried to give himself a $1500 raise.

The question then becomes, why didn't Carollo do something at the time that he learned of these activities, which in the case of making comments to one of Commissioner Russell's adies occurred in February?

Where was the decisive, take no prisoners, man of principles Joe Carollo then?

Carollo didn't give a fuck what Miro was doing, as long as he was doing what he wanted him to do.  It was only when Miro turned on him that we now find out about all this other shit.

When Carollo talks about having to deal with sleazy corrupt people, he must be looking in the mirror, because no standup guy would allow a guy with the baggage that Miro is now accused of having to stay close to him for a hot minute after he found out.

Real leaders lead by example, and Carollo is not a real leader.

But, and here's the big but, as batshit crazy and duplicitous as Joe Carollo is, the people who are really responsible for the shit that has been going on inside City Hall start with Emilio "Colonel Klink" Gonzalez, who as City Manager, is another empty suit who talks a lot of shit, but obviously doesn't have the balls required to do the right thing.

If Commissioner Russell is correct in his claim that Human Resources was notified in February about Miro's behavior to one of his staff, and Gonzalez didn't act decisively as soon as he heard about it - and make no mistake about this, inside City Hall there are very few secrets, it's a hothouse of intrigue and gossip - then he failed at carrying out his job responsibilities by looking out for, and protecting city  staff. Ignorance is not a defense in this kind of situation, nor is inaction.

Again, leaders lead by example, and if this desk jockey, political ass kisser who likes to pose and preen as this ex-military tough guy didn't do the right thing then, it was because he was a political coward.  

You can only be an effective city manager in a city like Miami if, like Frank Rollason, the former City Manager of North Bay Village has often said, "You can't do the job if you're afraid of being fired."

It's true that Carollo has gained a reputation as being this batshit crazy tough guy, but that's because no one has ever done what you do to guys like that, you draw a line in the sand, and then proceed to pick up a two-by-four and hit him as many times as it takes to make him understand that that line is one he's not going to cross anymore.

And if it requires a street fight, then you engage in the street fight and get it over with, and if it means going to the State Attorney and demanding that she do the right thing then you do that!  And if she refuses, then you go public on her ass.

Sometimes, the only way to do the right thing is to do the right thing, regardless of hat that takes!

But, above and beyond everyone else, the real coward in all of this is Mayor Francis Suarez.  

After Suarez won his election with 85% of the vote last November, and after his father came out in support of Alfie Leon, who had come in 2nd in the District 3 race against Carollo, Suarez was asked on the Sunday morning WPLG talk show with Michael Putney whether he would support Leon.

He declined, saying that he was going to remain neutral because he would have to work with whoever got elected.

That was a mealy mouthed, weak-ass response, because Suarez knew that if Carollo got elected, no matter what Suarez would to to appease him, Carollo would cause him trouble, which he has.

When you're a newly elected mayor, with a million dollars in the bank, and have just won with 85% of the vote - regardless of how inherently rigged that election was - and you know there's a guy like Joe Carollo just itching to get on the City Commission to fuck with you, the last thing you do is decide not to support the candidate that's running against him, and which in fact is the candidate that your supporters initially got to become a candidate to take Carollo on.

With Francis Suarez's open support, and his money - although there's some evidence that some of his money was spent on Leon's runoff campaign - there is every reason to believe that if Suarez had gone out and campaigned for him, Leon would have beat Carollo.

That, for me is the single most relevant argument for why Francis Suarez should not be allowed to become a Strong Mayor.

He's as weak as dish water, and incapable of making really tough decisions, even when not doing so work against his own self interests as they have in this case.

So today, we're in round two of this fight between Carollo and Miro.  I would expect round three to reveal accusations by folks in the community - there has been at least one ethics complaint filed against Carollo, and perhaps one or two more are out there as well - and there is no doubt that Miro has a lot more info on Carollo that will probably find its way into the pages of the Herald, because all you got to do is look at the players involved and you can see how they all intersect, and who the leakers will be.

Unfortunately the one thing you won't see - in fact the two things you won't see - are the other members of the City Commission turning on Carollo - Russell doesn't count, because he and Carollo are already enemies - but the others won't act until the blood is the water is so thick it will be like Taffy - and the other thing you won't see is Katherine Fernandez-Rundle move against Carollo.

No matter how much Carollo has bad mouthed her over the years, she'll let him slide because his base of old Cuban voters is part of her base too.

But, in the meantime, go out and buy some extra popcorn, because there ought to be a few good laughs, and a lot of batshit craziness to keep even the most jaundiced political observers happy.

That's the way it is in It's Miami, Bitches!

Alex de la Portilla at the door of Joe Carollo's office on January 11th, Commission  day, where he joined Marc Sarnoff, and Carlos Gimenez Jr